Wanted: Dead or Alive

As an author, I'm always curious who buys my books.  I watch sales go up and down, I answer emails from readers who have recently discovered my books, and they feed my writer's ego with tales of how much they love my books.  But slowly, I noticed I was receiving emails from readers who said they could no longer walk into a Barnes and Noble and purchase my books.  They were always sold out.  That's good, right?  Not always.  I started to hear more and more that my books were out of print.  Impossible, I thought I would be the first to know when, and if, my books were out of print.  

So one day, while visiting in a city where several readers said they couldn't get my books, I walked up to the counter where the clerks were more than happy to check on books.    

"Can I help you?" he asked.

"Sure, do you have any books by Patricia Bremmer in the store?"

"Let me look."

I waited patiently while he searched the database.  

"I'm sorry, we're sold out."

"How many titles does she have?" I asked.

"Nine," he responded.

"Can I order them?"  I asked.

He checked.

"I'm sorry they're out of print."

"Are you sure?" I asked.

Annoyed, he responded, "Yes, ma'am, they're out of print."

"Any idea why?" I asked.

"I think the author died," he responded.

I was set back to say the least.  After the shock left, I felt my pulse, and all seemed to be good.  My heart was thumping loudly in my chest, and my breathing grew rapid, but I took all of those as signs I was still very much alive.

So, when I returned home, I called the store manager.  We went through the same round of questions and answers, and guess what.  He confirmed my death!!!  

After rechecking my pulse.  I took in a deep breath and said, "There must be some sort of mistake."

"No, I don't think so," he replied.

"I'm sure there is," I insisted.  "You see, I am Patricia Bremmer, and not only am I not dead, but my books are not out of print.

 Apologies flowed, and I was invited to participate on a panel for mystery writers.  When I arrived, they had two of my titles set up in front of me.  I asked the PR person where the rest of my titles were, and she responded,  "They're out of print."  

Arrggg....I offered to bring the books in from my trunk, but was told I couldn't bring out of print books into the store to sell.  So after the talk, a flock of readers joined me in the parking lot and I sold books from my trunk.  

You see, your strongest fans will buy your books whether you're dead or alive!!!