Wanted: Dead or Alive

As an author I'm always curious who buys my books.  I watch sales go up and down, I answer emails from readers who have recently discovered my books and they feed my writer's ego with tales of how much they love my books.  But slowly I noticed I was receiving emails from readers who said they could no longer walk into a Barnes and Noble and purchase my books.  They were always sold out.  That's good, right?  Not always.  I started to hear more and more that my books were out-of-print.  Impossible, I thought I would be the first to know when, and if, my books were out-of-print.  

So one day, while visiting in a city where several readers said they couldn't get my books, I walked up to the counter where the clerks are more than happy to check on books.    

"Can I help you," he asked.

"Sure, do you have any books by Patricia Bremmer in the store?"

"Let me look."

I waited patiently while he searched the database.  

"I'm sorry we're sold out."

"How many titles does she have?" I asked.

"Nine," he responded.

"Can I order them?"  I asked.

He checked.

"I'm sorry they're out of print."

"Are you sure?" I asked.

Annoyed he responded, "Yes, ma'am they're out of print."

"Any idea why?" I asked.

"I think the author died," he responded.

I was set back to say the least.  After the shock left, I felt my pulse and all seemed to be good.  My heart was thumping loudly in my chest and my breathing grew rapid, but I took all of those as signs I was still very much alive.

So, when I returned home I called the store manager.  We went through the same round of questions and answers and guess what.  He confirmed my death!!!  

After rechecking my pulse.  I took in a deep breath and said, "There must be some sort of mistake."

"No, I don't think so," he replied.

"I'm sure there is," I insisted.  "You see, I am Patricia Bremmer and not only am I not dead, but my books are not out-of-print.

 Apologies flowed and I was invited to participate on a panel for mystery writers.  When I arrived they had two of my titles set up in front of me.  I asked the PR person where the rest of my titles were and she responded,  "They're out-of-print."  

Arrggg....I offered to bring the books in from my trunk but was told I couldn't bring out-of-print books into the store to sell.  So after the talk, a flock of readers joined me in the parking lot and I sold books from my trunk.  

You see your strongest fans will buy your books whether you're dead or alive!!!